July 2011 Archives

In my last post, I described a maelstrom I drew on the rocks on the edge of the bay when I went out for a walk around the office complex last week. I’ve walked past that maelstrom every day at around 3pm since I drew it. Sometimes I stop and stand in the middle of it. Sometimes I sit near it for a few minutes, or I just give it a glance as I walk by. The time alone, exercise and sunshine have all been helping to keep my mood relatively stable. The drawing has rubbed off some, but really hasn’t changed much over the last week and a half. Except today there was something new. A response, perhaps.I didn’t ... more

Yesterday I had a particularly bad day. It started with an 8-hour night with a 2.5-hour sleepless hole in the middle, followed by a dream about my stepdad, Paul, who took his own life on July 3rd, just over two weeks ago. It’s the first dream I’ve had about him since that day. Maybe the first ever, I’m not sure. In the dream, it wasn’t suicide that killed him but an accident. He was trying to blow open an underwater safe and something went wrong. He was opening it so he could steal whatever was inside. The idea was that he was doing something illegal, dangerous, maybe even stupid, to provide for his family, to do right by us, and ... more