Rendered Speechless

I've been wanting to get this shot for a long time. This is the house next door, and the light is coming from their greenhouse. It would make a really cool painting but I don't have time for that right now, so maybe I can put this photo on my reel along with some other photos and the paintings I'll do over Thanksgiving.

I may not have set up the lights myself, but I know good lighting when I see it. Call it a reference shot. There's some great texture in the car too. I particularly like the green glow coming through the car windows--there's a street light in the distance.

So the still life has been put off due to illness. The day after I set it up, I caught a cold. I spent this past weekend making up sick time that I took during the week. I've just gotten over it and now I'm faced with the holidays and a desperate need to clean my house. The good news though is that I'll have Thanksgiving to myself (eating turkey with Dad a week early), which gives me four solid days to crank out some new work. My mom is sending me some creepy dolls she picked up while antiquing in Kansas and that should give me more than four days of painting (and lighting) material. Apparently one is a dummy that looks like Chucky. I also picked up a book last night on lighting for photography, just to refresh myself on the basics and maybe pick up one or two new ideas.

So I've covered the suffering part. What does the silence refer to? ILM, that's what. And frankly it also refers to some of the suffering. I'm not even hearing crickets from them right now. I sent two messages last week and no response to either. I really hope if I'm no longer in the running that they'll just say so. Until they say anything, however, they will continue to hear from me.

On another note, apparently I'm not completely unemployable... I was offered a job by Sony last week. I ended up turning it down. And it wasn't because I was confident I'd get an offer from ILM; quite the contrary. Given how I felt about my interview performance, and the deafening silence from them since, I have yet to be confident about that. It was mainly because they only hire for the length of the production and I just can't see selling 2/3 of my stuff and moving all the way out there to be out of a low-paying job in a year. Now chances are I could successfully campaign to get on the next production, but who wants that kind of stress? I would much rather spend my energy doing my job to the best of my abilities rather than worrying about how long I'll be able to keep it.

I used the situation to nudge ILM to at least let me know if I was still in the running. Not a word. I wrote them again after I turned down the job, and explained that I am also in a better position to wait for the ideal job now because my contract at Collin County will likely be extended another couple of months (true--I found out the day after I got the offer). Still no response. I really hope they're just busy and that they're not the type of people to hold your future in their hands, make a decision to drop it and then just walk away without a word. I've dealt with that before. It's extremely disrespectful. And it goes against every fiber of my being to not communicate, to not even say, "I got your message, I'm really busy but I'll get back to you soon." I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt for now though. If they're really recruiting like crazy, then they're busy like crazy. I'll send them a nice Happy Thanksgiving message on Monday and hope for the best, at least until I find out that all hope is lost.

Seriously, I'm a big girl. I can take "no" for an answer. What I can't take is no answer for an answer.

It's my first weird still life. I've been wondering what to do with that phone for a long time.

Pixar has a Lighting TD position open. The listing asks for personal work in addition to cg. I know what they're looking for--the ability to light. 3 point studio lighting, creative lighting, lighting for mood--paintings, digital photos, you name it. Now I wouldn't send this photo in a million years, but I just might paint it. I can have a lot more control over lights in a painting than I can in the back bedroom with a few standard bulbs and some bounce off the semi-gloss. And a flashlight. I highlighted the doll's face with a flashlight. It comes out too hot in the photo.

Currently, all my paintings have pretty flat lighting or else are done from old photos, most of which are lit with a flash. So this is my chance to really do something creative with light. I'll have to improvise colors, because I don't have anything colorful I can place over my bulbs that won't catch on fire. What's really going to suck is painting in the dark. If I turn on the regular lights in this room, this gets washed out. So I'll be doing this pretty much in the dark. At least Daylight Savings Time is over, so it's dark when I get home at night. I don't have to fight the sun coming in three windows and the back door.

The possibility of doing this the way it needs to be done, getting it on my reel and getting it to Pixar in time is a long shot, but I'd feel a lot worse if I didn't try at all.

It's been about a month since my last post, but not a lot has happened. I've had two phone interviews with ILM. I believe I did better on the first one, which was with one person, than I did on the second one, which was with three people. But these things are never perfect. I've decided I don't like phone interviews as much as the in-person kind. I feel a lot of pressure to fill dead space. They can't see me thinking. So I come off as a rambling idiot because I start answering their questions too quickly, before I've really thought it through. Bummer. Certainly not my best interview work, although I'm not calling it a disaster.

My last phone interview was last Thursday. I don't know why it seems like such an eternity since then, but it does. Probably because I want it. And because I'm out of a job at the end of December.

I was asked a question in this interview that I've never been asked before. "What kind of classes did you take for your minor in Computer Science?" Wow, do you know how long ago that was? (I didn't really want to make an issue of that either. Not that it's relevant to what I'm capable of--that's the point. It's not.) Not that it was a bad question, actually it was a good one. But once you get in the field and start using what you know, you don't think of it in terms of classes anymore. I don't feel like I answered that question well. I answered truthfully, but I was trying to access an area of my brain that's been dormant for many years. I remembered what I still use in a general sense: languages and math. After I hung up I thought, OH YEAH Assembly Language, Data Structures, Calculus... shoot me. Just shoot me.

At least I remembered that graduate level computer graphics class I took my senior year.

Obviously the Viz Lab thought I was well prepared. They gave me a fellowship to attend. Interesting how sometimes I have less confidence in myself than others do. That is, until I'm given a problem to solve. Then WATCH OUT. There's no such thing as a problem that can't be solved. Not in my hands.

Another question was more specifically related to what I did at Multigen, which was about how I approached improving the speed of our radar module. It's amazing what you can forget when you don't see the code for two years. I might have pulled that one out in the end, but in the beginning I was struggling to make sense without giving away export controlled (i.e. federal prison-getting), proprietary information, some of which I couldn't even remember that well. I can say though that I started taking calculations out of the software and moved them one by one into the hardware shaders until we achieved an acceptable balance of speed vs. accuracy. And not only that, but I rewrote the IR Sensor module--and created its sibling, vpCamera--all using object oriented design patterns. That's something I didn't learn in school, but I thank my boss at Multigen (Scott) for encouraging me to learn it and use it. Now, I can't imagine life without it. Although often I have to because of the limitations of Actionscript.

Not feeling very confident after all that, I decided to post a code sample so they could see how I solve problems. First I asked a friend back at Multigen (Presagis) if I could use an excerpt of the code I wrote there. No go. Proprietary, legal would freak, all that. I wasn't even asking for the export controlled stuff, but still I wasn't surprised. So then I started digging in my old programs I wrote for my 2d image processing class at the lab. They were so elementary (and frankly my style left a bit to be desired at the time) that I just didn't feel like it would be putting my best foot forward. So finally I opted for a recent Flash project that not only used some 2d graphics concepts but also a few different custom classes. The artwork sucked but it wasn't mine, and unfortunately I wasn't allowed to mess with it. But the code was sound. My Multigen work was absolutely the most complex and relevant work I've done, but sometimes you just have to make the best of what you have. So I built a page explaining the project, posted the files and sent a link. And now I wait, hoping I didn't just step in it by doing that.

One thing that's really been on my mind though, even more than these other rambling idiot moments, was a tangent I managed to get off on about my work history. My mom thinks I have the most intimidating (in a good way) resume she's ever seen (she was a manager for many years so that's not your basic mom compliment). I, however, am a bit concerned over how many jobs I've had. I do want a place where I can settle down and contribute long term, and by "long term" I mean at least four years, hopefully longer. I have had that a couple of times. I've also found myself in situations I didn't bargain for and couldn't find a way to solve without taking myself out of the picture entirely. When a problem arises, my first instinct is to try to solve it, not look for the door. But sometimes finding the door is really the best thing for all involved. My experience at BWC is the perfect example of that. The needs of the interactive team grew beyond my skill set, and I could not for the life of me find a way to train myself adequately while still providing the service our customers deserved. That also made it very hard for me to try to grow the department where I thought it needed to grow, because I only had a vague sense of what that meant; I did not have the experience at that time to make the right decisions to grow it properly. So what do you do in that situation? You do what I did. You exit gracefully and bring in your own replacement, who ideally is the vision of what you believe you should have been to really succeed in that position. I was very lucky that my friend Melinda was looking for a job at that time. She had the experience and the drive to make it work, and she's doing it. She's running into the same brick walls I did, but she has the tools to plow through them. I did not. So everyone involved is better off, especially BWC. And they were without a body at my desk for all of three days. No harm done.

I never wanted to move around as much as I have. I think that happens more often to those who either don't know what they want, or are avoiding what they want by doing everything BUT that. I fall into the latter category, for many reasons I would rather not get into here. And as of this year, I am actively LEAVING that category.

Frankly I'm pretty proud of how all that worked out for me, Melinda and BWC. But you can't put all that on a resume--especially one that's too long already. You hope you can get all the words out in an interview if it comes up. I wasn't able to. But I did say that when all that happened, I had to sit down and take a hard look at where I really wanted my career to go. And now I am finally in a position to no longer be a member of the "doing everything but what I really want to" group. Once I get out of that group, and I hope that's very soon, I do plan to stay out. For good.

Tomorrow it will be a week since I had my last interview. That's really not that long. Sure feels like it though.

It sounds like I'm talking about programming but I'm not. "Code share" is when two different airlines share a flight code, so that while your Travelocity printout might say you're leaving Vegas on US Airways flight 7054, you're really leaving on United flight 1553. Now how do you, as a passenger, know this? You don't. That's my point. My luggage knew it, but the US Airways agent didn't. She had never heard of flight 7054, but when she typed it into her computer, it came up as United 1553. I never saw anyone look so surprised as she did when she typed that in and actually got something back. But I still had to go all the way out to the ticket counter and get a boarding pass from a United agent, then go back through security to a totally different terminal than where I had come from. I got there just in time to board. And the irony is that according to my baggage claim ticket, my luggage knew where it was going all along. I should have just ridden in the suitcase.

In retrospect, I probably could have just gone to the United gate and gotten a boarding pass there. But no one could tell me where that gate was except the ticket agent. Not sure why. Even the monitors didn't show the United flight, and that's because it was in another terminal. So I took the long way but at least I got here.

So I think my interview today went well. It was a group situation where you sit at a conference table and your future peers throw interview-like questions at you. I haven't had one like that before but I've certainly heard of them. Intimidating? Yes. But it also gave me a chance to give some really good answers that show the breadth of my experience and what I've learned from it all. It wasn't perfect, but no interview is. You always come out of there thinking, why did I say that? Or, why didn't I say this? But it was good practice even if nothing else comes out of it. And I got to see a real studio.

Speaking of practice, I seem to have gotten two interviews for the price of one. Before I closed up the laptop yesterday and packed it, I checked my email. There was a note from a recruiter at ILM who wanted to schedule a time to talk. So I chatted with her this morning about a position very similar to what I interviewed for at Sony. I like her approach: She told me what it paid and what the shift was right up front. I always thought it was way better to know that stuff in the beginning because it sucks to go through a long, drawn out interview process, especially where travel's involved, only to find out at the end that you can't afford to do it. It's not a perfect salary but it's about what I expected and tomorrow I'll be contacted by someone who will schedule me for a phone interview with the render support department head. That will probably happen sometime next week.

Despite how broke I am nowadays, I hope I get to go to San Francisco for an interview. I would really like to compare cities and have a real choice before I have to make a decision. And besides, someone has to be holding Citibank up, so it might as well be me. How else do you think they could afford to take over Wachovia last week?

I know it's been a long time since I've posted anything. The biggest reason is because of a missing module on my web server and an annoying licensing issue with Adobe. Movable Type will set up your image thumbnails for you if you have a certain module installed on your web server, which I don't. That means every time I do a post, I have to download the newly-updated html, add the thumbnail links by hand, and then reupload it so you can see the neat little images on the right side of the page. Well, I own one copy of CS3 and the activated license is on the desktop computer where I use it the most. I use Dreamweaver to update the links quickly with a code snippet. I want to do that on my laptop as well. But when I get in bed at night and decide I want to post something, I don't want to get back out of bed, boot up the desktop, deactivate the software, power it down, get back in bed, power up the laptop, activate the software and then do the post. And then remember to deactivate it again in case the next computer I use just happens to be the desktop. Lazy? Perhaps. But I'm more inclined to call Adobe greedy. Adobe used to let you install in two places--provided that you don't use them at the same time--without jumping through hoops to get it to work. This weekend I reread the licensing agreement and found that I'm technically still allowed to do this, but I have to actually contact Adobe to get it to work. Needless to say I haven't blocked out half a day for that phone call yet. So tonight I'll do the post and if I'm feeling particularly ambitious I'll add the links back in by hand, but if you see broken image links tomorrow, at least you'll know why.

So despite my shell scripting class being cancelled (apparently I was the only one who signed up for it), I tackled the Sony test and passed. I have an interview on October 2. I'm flying to LA on the first and back on the third... I wanted to come back on the second but I couldn't get a flight late enough to ensure I wouldn't be cutting the interview short. Sony informed me that they don't have an actual position open right now but they interview constantly for when one comes up, which usually happens rather quickly. That's fine with me. Really, it is. I look forward to finally seeing a real studio in action without having to worry about making a quick, life-altering decision in just under two weeks from now. It really takes the pressure off. Of course after I see the place and meet the people I might feel more relaxed anyway. I'll know when I find the right thing.

And yet with the pressure of that interview off, there's still plenty of pressure to be had. On Friday I agreed to do a freelance web project in my spare time. Spare??? I really like the people I'll be working for, but as usually happens when I take on a freelance job, I became immediately paralyzed with stress and was completely unproductive and resentful for the entire weekend. Sometimes it only takes one more thing and I freeze under the weight of it all. I am at an age where my free time is important to me, but I also owe a ton of money from my trip to LA and will continue to owe money as long as I keep flying to California for interviews. And then there's the whole possibility of actually moving there, which will take the most money by far. It makes sense for me to do this, and I know it's something I can do and do well. And yet it pisses me off that I need to. There are other things I want to do, like paint, write another novel in November like I did last year (check out NANOWRIMO), plan out my next festival piece, work on some images showing a creative use of light. It's all running around in my head at all times, dying to get out and become real. But I guess I had already written that stuff off anyway until the rest of my life gets settled. I still have a lot of learning left to do (Python) and this year is disappearing fast. And now I have a second job on top of it all.

So I put Python on hold for the Sony test and now I'm back on it, or at least I'm trying to be. I finally had the brilliant idea today to assign myself an actual project that would throw me in head first and really teach me something. So I contacted a (new) friend at ILM who used to have the position I would like to get, and asked him what kind of project would be relevant to the job and get me going in the language. He gave me a doozy, two in fact. Perfect. I like it when I have no idea how to start. Because by the time I'm done I can usually do just about anything. Wish I had thought of this last week, I could have worked on it all weekend. But I guess I wasn't in the right frame of mind anyway. Sometimes I guess you just need to power down for a while and get some perspective. And sleep.

Now that I have my assignment, I want it done already. Because it showed me just how far I have to go and how little time I have left to do it. It's the Sony test all over again, except no one will be grading this. I just want to be able to talk about the language like I actually know something, should I get the chance. And I think I will. In fact, I think it will be soon, which is freaking me out.

I need a week off.

It's been a while since I've posted anything but I've still been busy behind the scenes. I rendered the missing frames from the hippo animation and edited the whole thing together just like the original, and posted it under a separate link on the site. I'm also tackling the more technical end of things. I came home from SIGGRAPH with four new books, the two most important ones (right now) being on MEL scripting and Python. I got through most of the MEL book (easy stuff) and then decided I needed to go straight to Python (a much bigger book). I also signed up for a class on shell scripting that's being held this coming weekend. I can get around in Linux just fine--used to do a good bit of development there--but some of those old Unix commands are hiding in the dark recesses of my memory. So this coming weekend I'll be tackling shell scripting from 8 to 5 on Saturday and 1 to 5 on Sunday. And depending on how that class goes, I might even sign up for the advanced class being held the very next weekend. But we'll see.

I left resumes and reels all over the job fair. For those who wouldn't take reels, or who I didn't get to talk to for whatever reason, I sent emails a little over a week ago. I sent emails to some I had talked to as well, just to follow up. The waiting game has definitely begun, and luckily I have plenty of learning (and relearning) to do in the meantime. But then last Friday I got an email from Sony Imageworks. They reviewed my resume and wanted to know if I was interested in an interview. Sure! So they sent me a test to evaluate some of the skills I would need as an employee, and if I do well I'll get an interview. I'm not at liberty to discuss what is on the test, but let's just say it definitely confirmed that taking this shell scripting class is a good idea! I've already tackled most of the test but I'm not totally comfortable with all of it, so I asked if I could delay sending in my answers until after I take the class. I almost didn't expect to be able to, because you're supposed to be able to turn things around quickly in the real world. But they said yes, take the time you need. I'm glad I have the chance to send in my best work and not rush through it. I do need practice with this stuff, I already knew that. Now I know just how much. So I'll stay busy for a while for sure.

So as the calls and emails continue to pour in over the next few months (I'm being funny there), I'm not going to go into my specific opinions on the different companies or people I talk to. I have my preferences right now, I know where I would like to go and what I would like to do, but I'm going to keep that to myself. You never know how your opinions might change when you meet new people, see new situations and have some real interviews. You also never know how your comments will be interpreted by potential employers. So until I have an actual job offer in hand, I'm sticking with the facts and saving the editorial for another time, and maybe even another place. I will say though that I haven't met anyone in this business that I don't have a high opinion of or at least didn't enjoy talking to at the show. The future looks bright. And my cell phone is now on me at all times.

It's not just about the new people I've met though. CG is a much smaller world than you would think, and I ran into plenty of old friends as well. Someone once asked me if I had any friends that would go out on a limb to help me get a job somewhere. The answer is an unequivocal yes. In fact, that's how I got my job at Multigen, and there's a good chance that's how I'm going to land the next job too. At least if everything works out the way I would like. But that is a mystery to be revealed at a later time.

So I took last week off. I can't call it much of a rest though, my mom was here through last Wednesday and then my dad came to visit on Friday and left Sunday. If I'm not going to rest, believe me that's the best way to do it because I don't see them enough as it is. But despite very little time to myself since the conference it's time to get back to work. And to that end, tonight I posted a fixed bug ship to the reel and stills pages on the main site.

It took me a couple of days to figure out what happened but it's really pretty simple. At first I thought I had lost the link to the texture but that wasn't the case. Actually it had to do with two things. First, when I set up this project years ago, I didn't do the specular pass right. I used it solely for the sharp highlights on the windows and tentacles and left the sheen on the rest of the ship in the diffuse pass. Second, that came back to bite me when I turned off the specular component of the lights in my diffuse pass this time around. That wasn't an option in Maya 2 and 3, but it is now, and usually that makes a spec pass a lot easier to do. But when I turned it off, I lost that shiny surface as well as the sharp highlights. I'd like to think that if I had been getting more sleep a few weeks ago I would have caught it in time but who knows. The important thing is, I caught it and I fixed it. It's not on the DVDs--I figure I'll get rid of the ones I have before I make new ones, unless something drastic happens--but it is on the site.

The next thing I want to accomplish before working on anything new is posting the entire hippo animation on the site in addition to the excerpt that's in my reel. I'll have it as a separate link on the reel page for anyone who's interested. This is going to be a little more difficult though. There are a lot of intermediate QuickTime movies that have to be recreated just right to work in my Final Cut project from a few years ago, and I'm not sure that's going to happen so easily. I might be facing an editing nightmare. In fact, I really should re-edit the thing anyway because it doesn't necessarily need to be that long. I don't know. I guess I'll make that decision when I see how long it's taking me to do it.

So that's it for now. I'm going to start rendering the frames I was missing in LA and then go to bed. Oh yeah, I'm getting somewhat decent sleep now. I like it. Perhaps I shouldn't get used to it.

I've never been so tired. And I'm starting to sleep a little more regularly now but suddenly I can sleep pretty much anywhere, anytime. For instance, I fell asleep on the plane. I don't do that, I can't sleep sitting up. I've never been able to do it in my entire life. Tonight I fell asleep on the couch for over two hours and I'm actually ready to go to sleep again. You know how sometimes just as you're falling asleep you jump and it wakes you up? I actually did that while I was watching TV with my eyes open and everything. I was falling asleep so fast I didn't even know it. I really want to get on a more normal schedule and start feeling better. I just can't do months of all-nighters like I used to.

It's easy to sleep these days but hard to relax. I need some ideas for 2D work that will show off some creative lighting and I'm impatient. Right now my reel only shows realistic lighting and you can't tell by looking at it that I can do anything but copy the real world. I want to start with 2D work and then maybe duplicate it in 3D while I'm waiting for that job to come along... I'll add to my reel as I can and just keep working until it gets me where I want to go. But I can't help wanting it done right now so I can keep my name in the minds of those I met in LA. I don't want to disappear for six months and then try to reconnect with everyone; however, if that's the way it has to be to get the quality I'm after, then so be it. The fact that my current gig is over at the end of the year is another issue I'll have to tackle later.

I don't feel like the same person I was before I went to LA. I guess I went out there and saw what I had been missing all these years, what I had given up to stay in Texas. Things are good out there, people are hiring. I heard nothing about contract work or layoffs after the movies were completed like I was hearing six years ago. Business is booming out there. And my friends are out there. Last week I finally felt like I was right where I belonged, probably for the first time in years, instead of trying to fit in like a square peg in a round hole. I'm going to get some sleep, get some good ideas and keep working. And keep an open mind about the future.

I already have some vague images in my mind that I might work with, but I need some time and space to let them develop into concrete ideas. My dad is coming to visit this weekend and we're going to hit the museums in Ft. Worth. Maybe all that painted light will spark something I can use. And I still need to fix the problems with the bug and the hippo. I guess I'll do that first when I can bring myself to clean up the office and actually open Maya again. Right now it sounds a little painful, but I have a feeling once I open it and start working I'll feel right at home.

I always hated the last day of SIGGRAPH. It's such a let down when everything is over, there's nothing more to see or do, your friends start flying home and you don't have any job offers. None of this is a surprise to me, and I guess it's worse this time around because I was actually here for more than just fun. But I had no illusions about the quality of my reel when I got here. I didn't expect a miracle, I just knew I needed to get my name out there, meet people and show them what I have. So the next time they hear from me they'll say oh, I remember her... and of course SIGGRAPH is never the end of the process, it's only the beginning. They take all the reels home and look at them and call in a couple of weeks if they're interested. But the last day is still a bummer. It's like the day after Christmas. All the presents have been opened and there are no more surprises. There's just no way around it.

I'll bet they go through the same thing at the Olympics. It's been really interesting to go to the hotel room at night and turn on the games, watching swimming or gymnastics and seeing that for all of us, no matter how hard you work, there's always an element of luck involved. SIGGRAPH is its own Olympics in a way, a mecca for intellectual and artistic overachievers rather than athletic ones. You work and work for months, even years, and you get your animation in or you don't. You get a job offer or you don't. You never know for sure if your effort will be rewarded, and no matter how much sleep you lose or how rejected you feel or even how successful you might have been, when you go home you start all over again. You have no choice. It's what keeps you alive.

I really have little to be disappointed about. I've been out of this world for six years and just jumped back into it four months ago. I met people who were genuinely interested in hiring me, even if it's as a pipeline programmer. And a couple of small miracles happened yesterday as well. I went to a round table discussion on lighting that included the lighting lead on Wall-E and a guy from Dreamworks, among others. The Pixar guy gave the best, most informative presentation of all of them and it was like the light bulb came on for me (no pun intended) in so many areas I didn't really understand before. I had a flash of inspiration and thought, I should go down there and talk to him when this is over. Then I thought, I probably won't do it. I'm a relatively shy person and I often have big ideas like this that when confronted with the opportunity, evaporate inside my own fear of looking stupid. And yet when the talk was over, I found myself going down the stairs to the front while everyone else was going up and out the door, and before I knew it I was talking to the guy.

I introduced myself and told him that I wanted to be a lighting TD more than anything. And I thanked him for his presentation because it was the best information I had gotten in or out of school about how they do things in the real world. He seemed to appreciate that, saying he was afraid he had been rambling too much. No way. In fact, he had said that on demo reels they like to see a lot of personal work, and they like to see that you can light something, even if it's in a photo or a painting. I told him that was really encouraging to hear because since I'm not in the industry, personal work is all I have, and I even threw some photos on my site the other day when Keith had mentioned the same thing. I told him that I had a backpack full of reels knowing full well that they represent a work in progress and as a result of his talk, I knew what my next steps had to be. He encouraged me to apply and send in my stuff, and so I offered him my card and he took it, checking to make sure my URL was on there. Given where my work stands right now I don't expect anything beyond that, but it was a small personal triumph. And he was a really nice guy. A lot of people have been talking here about Pixar's "elitist" attitude, how it stinks that they're not taking reels, etc. I didn't get that feeling at all from him. Not at all. As usual, it all depends on who you talk to.

Last night SIGGRAPH had their welcome reception at Dodger Stadium where we got tons of free food and watched the Dodgers play the Phillies. I've never been a baseball fan, in fact I always thought it was slow and boring. But I think after last night I understand it a little better. At least from my point of view, it's less about the game and more about the comradery among audience members. I think we were all bored. And after a while, someone started the wave and it went around three times. That felt like an accomplishment. A ball flew into our stands and someone caught it. During the 7th inning stretch everyone stood up and sang Take Me Out to the Ball Game. And there's a real person there playing a real organ! After a while it was just really cool. I took some shots on my camera phone. Maybe I can find a way to get them off there soon.

But I digress a bit. Because last night at the game I saw someone I hadn't seen in a long time. His name is David and I used to work with him at Multigen until he quit and went to Link in Arlington. As far as I knew he was still there, until Margaret started asking him if he knew people from the lab... this person, that person... I couldn't figure out why she was asking that until I looked at his badge. He's working at ILM and has been for a year and a half! And he gave me his card and said that I should go to their web site and if I see a job I like, let him know because recommendations from employees are taken very seriously over there. Wow. That's definitely on my to do list now. And the interesting thing is, my reel shows more realistic than creative lighting, which is more of an ILM skill than a Pixar skill. I may have more of a Pixar personality but I can do that kind of stuff on my own time. Seriously, who would complain about having to work on Star Wars? Not me.

So despite being a bit down today I have a pretty clear path ahead of me, even if it is a long one. I have a few online applications to make and some changes to my existing reel (basically fixing problems that shouldn't have happened in the first place). I need to do some artistic projects, paintings or otherwise, that show a very creative use of light. Then I need to start on the next project. I don't know what it is yet but I have time to think it through this time. It may be that 617 project I never finished, because I do really like the story. Or it may be something new. I don't know yet. All I know is I'm over the potato. It was a great way to learn Maya again but I can do much better than that. As I see it, I have three hours tomorrow on the plane to figure it out. And then I'm off and running again.